I don't know where I'm going to be next week at this time.
Those are the first words that I can think of as I stare at the computer trying to come up with something write about for today. It's not that I don't know what I'll be doing1, but what am I going to be thinking about when I do it. Will I be worried about when my next paycheck is going to come in or am I going to happy that we just finished another birthday party for the kids. Will I have to worry about whether or not I have to put the dog down because he's been having some digestive problems.
I don't know.
I've been looking for ways to not get into a rut since loosing my job almost a month ago. All I can think of is the worry about what my next step is going to be and how horrible it will be if such and such doesn't happen for me. Almost none of my energy has gone into making things happen for me.
It almost feels like I'm catatonic, or a ghost standing over my own body and watching as time and life just slip by me.
The only good news is that I feel that I'm finally slipping through some of the fog and actually moving forward with some things again.
Like with a lot of things in life, the first step is the hardest.
Most probably looking for a job or something like that. ↩