Mandaris Moore

Well, here I am on my second day of my challenge to write 100 words on my phone and I almost forgot. It’s hard to develop a new positive habit.

I’m also struggling to to come up with what I want to say. I feel that I want to turn this into a journal experience but I’m hesitant to have another system of tracking my thoughts.

I have day one on my phone and on my Mac plus a physical journal that I keep at work where I put an affirmation and a gratitude entry.

Currently, I’m only doing journal writing when I’m stressed.

This is kind of interesting. I wonder if I can write 100 words on my phone every day for a month.

I think I'll start in drafts because it has a word count and then send it over to byword to put the tags and maybe an image.

A lot of people have a picture every day that they post to Twitter or something. Currently, I don't want to do that because those companies haven't been good stewards of the community.

It feels like they are known more for the detriment they do to society then the benefits they propose.

I've signed up for a Tough Mudder race in March and I'm woefully unprepared for it. I've been doing small things to increase my physical health, but I've got to change a lot of things if I even want to stand a chance of making it out without getting hurt.

Ultimately, that is the goal for me. It started as a whim but now I want to prove something to myself. I've already made the financial commitment and I need to put my body where my money is.

I've almost finished the probation period at my new job and I've got to say that it feels good to have made it this far. I work hard and I think the people around me see that and want me to suceed just as much as I do.

Still, it wasn't always fun because of the learning curve and... well... the people.

I consider myself a people person in a lot of respects. It really isn't natural for me because I had no understanding of tact back in jr. high school seeing as most of my interactions were with books and movies. I was picked on quite a lot and it wasn't until college that I started to really grow as a person.

Fast forward to now, and I'm seeing other people who are still growing as people. Some more mature and some not as much. Everyone has there own motivations.

Things have been moving kind of fast at work and that has spilled over into my personal life. In the process of moving to a more stable life where I'm not worried so much about making rent for that month. At the end of the day, I'm very grateful that I not only have a job, but a job where I'm helping maintian the foundation of our society.

This hasn't left me with a lot of energy to work on my projects. A lot of the things I want to work on have had to take a step back as I get things figured out.

I sometimes look at the things that I’ve accomplished versus the things that I think that I should have accomplished. It’s always in a negative light because you can’t compete with a fantasy like that.

I think that I may actually grow up this year. I might be the person that I really set out to be.

What does this mean?

I might be able to look myself in the eye every morning knowing that I did my best for that day.

I’d like to know that my children have had a positive male role model in their life and understand what it means to treat people with respect. And above all, treat themselves with respect.

I think I might have a chance to actually have peace of mind this year. It’s really about me going out there and doing what needs to be done.

It doesn’t have to be a chore. It’s just life and it is up to me to live it.

I created a vlog entry about how I'm balding.

Afterwards, I started to pick at the way that I look and sound. Of course, but I'm excited about doing this and making the video better than this one. Small steps, right?

I just don't want to do anything today.

Having another quiet fight with my wife.

Today, I'm having trouble getting started in my alloted time to make something. I really just want to go home, eat and sleep. I think it is because it is the end of the day at the tail end of the week.

I was just going to make a post and call it a night when I remembered that I can make a small video on my laptop and you can see the result below.

The first Christmas Tree our family has ever done
The first Christmas Tree our family has ever done

Today, we bought our first Christmas Tree. For me, Christmas hasn't been my favorite holiday, but I should make it something of it for my family.