Mandaris Moore

Merlin Man has a great piece about the most important thing about starting something.

The hardest part of starting over is swallowing my pride, saying that I need help and then starting up again.

Well, things have been hectic and I'm thinking about a lot of things in my personal life. The key is that those near me are happy and doing well. Living, learning and enjoying life.

I wish I could say that about people outside of my house, but I can only do so much.

My brother is engaged to get married. I'm happy that he's found someone.

So I'm up late again.

It's weird being up this late. Just sitting here thinking about what I could be doing instead of doing it. It's a quite moment where I can tune out for a couple minutes and just here the humming of the lightbulbs and tell myself, "It's ok to slow down and take this minute for me"

I really do love blogging, even if most of it is junk!

I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be an adult. To me, being an adult means owning up to your responsibilities and making reasonably rational decisions. I say reasonably because there are things that can't/shouldn't be rationalized. For example, love between exact opposites or why they stopped showing Captain Eo at DisneyLand (completely irrational).

On the opposite side of the equation, we have emotion. The western world has a love/hate relationship with emotions. In America, it is written that we should all be working on that constant pursuit for happiness. Some of the best movies are about people who do this.

As an adult, we all have to balance this.

I love my drama-free (most of the time) wife. Thank you baby momma.

After watching the movie ‘Everybody’s fine’, a nice movie about a newly widowed father who travels across the country to meet up with his children who he has a strained relationship with. It got me thinking about my own relationships. Have I done everything I could do? If I were to die would the people who matter to me go forward with their lives knowing that I wished them well? Would my children know that all I truly want for them is to live a full and happy life? Did I really live life to the fullest and lead by example?

That last one, I’m going to say ‘no and yes’.

I don’t live every moment to the fullest, in fact, I have caught myself drifting in and out a couple times. Like the song from Linkin Park, ‘It’s easier to run’, I find that I’ve got a certain part of myself that just zones out sometimes. That says ‘Hey, I don’t think I can change this situation so why fight it?’

I know, it’s horrible, but I think it’s how most people are ‘living’ there life.

I also think that’s why people cheat on their spouses and just treat people like shit.

And I’m tired of it. Really.

I’m tired of being told to live in a little box, and I’m tired of being told to shhhh and keep quiet about things for the stupidest of reasons. That, in the end, come back to ultimately bite me.

To be honest, I feel that a lot of people are just set in their ways. I could tell a certain someone that I love them a hundred times and they would only look back to a time I didn’t return their phone call because I was changing a diaper and say that I’m a liar. I could tell someone that they should stand up make a change to some kind of product and that person could say ‘Hey, my hands are tied because the boss gave me these things to do.’ I could hug someone and they would only say that I’m only doing it because it’s expected and not because I want to become closer to them and I may never be able to do it again. I could take someone’s keys to make sure they don’t drink and drive, but that person would only see me as attempting to belittle them.

After a certain point, I’ve got to say ‘Listen, I’m an adult and you’re an adult. I’m going to go this way. You can do whatever you want.’

I’m going to stop there because I have to be at work in 5 hours.

We've moved!

I’ve been pushed off of my review wagon (again). One thing you have to keep in mind when starting a new habit is that you should forgive yourself if you miss a day and get back to it as soon as you can. Well, things have been busy in my life: My dad had a stroke, I’m going to be moving to a new place at the end of the month, I’ve had the privilege of raising someone else’s kid for a while and I’ve also been re-evaluating my life.

Sometimes, I don’t know what to do or feel...

Like a leaf in the wind...

Personal Accomplishments:

  • Met Andy Ihnatko

  • Getting better and better about tracking my list of things to do

  • Doing my review again